Me and my thoughts

2010-11-18T22:26:00.002+08:00

Migration

I am going to try migrating my blog to Sina:
blog.sina.com.cn/tkk241280

Blogger takes ages to upload pictures, and it often hangs, it doesnt allow copy and pasting, blah blah blah.

Hope Sina's better (not too hard, I think)!

2010-11-06T17:51:00.001+08:00

Pavilions

UK Seed Cathedral

France

Denmark

2010-11-06T17:46:00.001+08:00

Germany

2010-11-06T17:34:00.001+08:00

Italian Pavilion

2010-11-06T17:12:00.001+08:00

Oman

2010-11-06T17:09:00.000+08:00

Expo (2)

2010-11-06T16:57:00.000+08:00

Expo (1)

2010-11-04T20:52:00.002+08:00

Purpose

My company just launched the latest GoodPurpose study. One of the messages was that Purpose drives Profit, which got me thinking - Is it the right way to think about or market social purpose? With profit in mind?

It's a catchy phrase, it makes people sit up and listen, but my issue is really with the word 'profit'. The words we use reflect and influence how we go about thinking about this. We need to caution ourselves from starting off with a very narrow short term profit motive in mind.

I think social purpose helps to build brand and corporate reputation, I recognize it as a win-win thing for corporates and society, but I just think overly focusing on 'profit', without a sincere, genuine goal of benefitting the community would doom an initiative to failure right from the start.

2010-11-01T20:57:00.002+08:00

Vengeance

I saw Vengeance by Johnnie To. I like. As usual, it's a well done gangster flick (do we expect anything less from him), but he added in an interesting theme about how vengeance becomes meaningless when one loses one's memories. And the question: if you had the choice, would you prefer to remember and seek revenge, or would you rather forget. I dont have an answer myself. But I suspect I am probably the vengeful sort!

2010-11-01T20:21:00.002+08:00

Expo

I went to the Expo on 22nd and 30th of Oct. Wasnt very keen the past couple of months, but well it was ending soon, so thought I should just go have a look.

I think it's not so much of using Expo as a platform to get to know the world, but a case of seeing how different countries conceptualize and present their stuff. I think it's great for people in creative industries, architecture, events, design etc. Interesting to see what different countries choose to highlight about themselves, the different ways they interpret the theme. Just look at the designs of the country pavilions - and the different creative ideas of presentation. Here's my take:

1) Germany - the best pavilion, according to me! Rich in content, clear themes, awesome presentation - showcasing german technologies, culture and lifestyles. I like the part about kids in the Ruhr area having to pick up one instrument each

2) Denmark - the mermaid and the white curvy pavilion came out very well in the pictures. Content was simple, a bit too simple maybe, but it articulated the main differences between China and Denmark. Thought they did not fully exploit the Fairytale theme, which has a lot of potential

3) Mexico - I like the Mexican pavilion. The concepts and technologies they use is brilliant - the book thingy which is like a sort of Aviva futurator, and another version which showcased different people, how they are interconnected and how they reflect mexican society. And the good thing was - it wasnt crowded! However, the artwork in there was probably too abstract

4) Australia - the 'clay' figures are another interesting way of presentation, but I thought the content was rather lacking. There's probably so much more of the (very inhospitable) Australian landscape and history that can be shared (but not the Tasmanian genocide I think). Pavilion looks ugly too.

5) Oman - Another pavilion that I like. You may say they are rich and can afford it, but it's really quite well done, with very rich content and information

6) Sri Lanka - Very simple but likeable, with people demonstrating some traditional skills, and introduction to their heritage cities

7) Bosnia - A scam. More like a secondary school exhibition. And with kiddish drawings to boot.

8) Estonia - Another scam. Looks good on the outside, but nothing but pigs inside. Scores an absolute zero for content

9) Italy - Great showcase of their stuff - fashion, Ferrari, violin making, pasta, wine. Well done, but pales in comparison to Germany (I think). A lot of show, but not much telling

10) Canada - A+ for visuals - it was quick breathtaking, but not much for content. Hardly learnt anything about the country

11) Cambodia - They tried (and failed) to replicate part of the angkor wat. And nothing else. Perhaps a case of low budget!

12) New Zealand - They stuck to the theme very well. I thought it was very Kiwi-ish as well - I can imagine Stephen Robertson my Kiwi ex-colleague coming up with the concept. Showcasing nice little moments about everyday life

13) Indonesia - Another pavilion I like. Better than I anticipated. It highlighted the cultural and environmental biodiversity very well. Indeed, their tropical rainforests is something worth shouting about, though of course they have been cutting it down. I thought the girls were rather pretty! :p

14) European Pavilion - Hungary, Montenegro and something else that I cant remember. All I can say is it's forgettable

15) Czech - Decent. The ball thingy was quite spectacular. I didnt know they are good at animation!

16) Hamburg - Showcased the passive house which remains at 25 degrees celsius without air conditioning in all seasons. Interesting technology but I nearly fell asleep. They showed a nice short film about Chinese migrants to Hamburg

17) Rhone-Alps & Alsace - boring!

18) Brunei - Ahem...all I can say it at least they tried. A decent, sincere effort.

18) Malaysia - Quite poor actually. And I dont think I am biased

19) Philippines - Quite a joke. Hardly any content, but at least the people were friendly and they were trying to turn it into a disco!

20) Singapore - HUGE disappointment (and again I dont think I am being biaised). Content was sole lacking. What's the point of having pictures of David Marshall, Yusof Ishak, Tan Tock Seng etc? What resonance would it create? There's so much we can talk about in terms of urban planning, ERP, public housing etc, but we didnt. Instead, we talked about Singapore media fusion and the design industries. The ironic thing is that the presentation of the content was so unimaginative. Maybe budget not enough, but even the content was deplorable. And the pavilion looks awful. The only redeeming factor? There were a couple of pretty girls, who I am sure were not Singaporeans! A sad time to be a Singaporean!

21) Nepal - See Cambodia, but looks nicer.

2010-10-27T20:21:00.001+08:00

（夜）上海

2010-10-27T20:10:00.002+08:00

（夜）上海

2010-10-18T19:29:00.002+08:00

First Autumn

I just realized that at the age of 30, I am just only experiencing the first autumn in my life. And I have already caught a cold from wearing too little.

This sorts of just reflects life - I may need to get acquainted with my physique (and probably other stuff) going downhill from here. The time has finally come where I will become a Cat Z for IPPT. As it is, I am already one of the older folks in my office (both in Spore and Shanghai - this line usually teems with young ones).

I think the period 20-30 is probably the best in one's life, dont you think? The age when one is young and youthful, more matured than teenagers but still full of energy and zest for life, for love, for experiences.

It sorts of starts going downhill from here. but I guess I can still choose to be young at heart!

2010-10-03T20:41:00.002+08:00

First Time Back

First time I have experienced what it is like to come back. Of course, my main purpose is to see my mother (I would not have returned just 5 months after I went to Shanghai otherwise), but also found time to meet up with colleagues, ex-colleagues and friends. These are the individuals / groups I met this time round:

1) Edelman office - visited the office, went for their offsite
2) Lunch with Edelman Admin (Mun San, Feon) + Lois
3) Dinner with edelman 'old birds' - Del, Yanni, Mark, Cindy
4) Lunch with Derek Ng, ex-edelman shanghai
5) Coffee with Michelle Ang, my ex-edelman director
6) Drinks with Keith morrison + stephen robertson (1 ex and one current edelman)
7) Meeting my ex boss Bob grove for drinks tmr
8) Breakfast with Ting Ying, my uni coursemate
9) Lunch with Telli, Hwa Chong schoolmate
10) Coffee with Kim Hock, ex hwachong classmate
11) Dinner with Qiyun and Lianyi, NTU coursemates
12) Breakfast (x2) with Jet, Filipino friend I got to know in Paris
13) Dim sum with Edelman Alumni (Stephanie and Nicki)
14) Breakfast with Hui Zhen, ex edelman intern

>20 people I care about. Also saw some of my aunts and uncles who came to visit my mom. I am glad to see that some are doing very well, entering new phases in their lives, others are ok, no one is miserable at least!

But it is a pity that I did not have the time to meet up with some folks:

1) Esther low, my ex-client
2) Joanna, another ex client
3) Some edelman alumni
4) Mark Gordon - sort of mentor
5) Kok Chiu - table tennis kaki
6) Chinese high guys (Met up with a couple in Shanghai, but I also hardly meet up with them when I am here!)
7) Other people that I dont really meet up with here but I still do care about - uni coursemates, a couple of army friends, Clarice (ex-edelman intern - She used to read this blog so I better mention her!)

I guess there's always next time!

2010-09-28T00:33:00.002+08:00

My Father in Law

My father in law caught a mild stroke late last month. He has high blood pressure, is prone to getting headaches and feeling dizzy at times. Should have been more careful (always on hindsight).

I saw him in the hospital. He can now move his left limbs (he couldnt at first), but I think it will take a few months before he can fully recover. The first time ever that I saw him cry (when my mother in law told him that we had brought some money for him), but he is a very strong person emotionally - he had a very tough childhood and early adult life. He has always been fairly fit, so I am optimistic that he will recover more or less fully.

2010-09-28T00:20:00.002+08:00

This has been a bad year

1) My mother was hospitalised in April for supposed 'mental illness', which shocked and scared the hell out of everyone, me included. I have since concluded that it was due to some spooky stuff she encountered when she went to Hainan for holidays

2) My mother's diagnosed with ovarian cancer. This has been an absolutely horrible year for her, absolutely unlucky, I am not surprised why the spooky stuff in Hainan went for her

3) My father in law caught mild stroke. He will probably need a few months of exercise and physiotherapy before he can recover

4) My mother in law was hospitalised for a week due to the stress. She has a weak heart

I think that's enough bad luck for the year.

2010-09-27T23:45:00.002+08:00

My Mother's Birthday

Today's my mother's birthday. This has not been a good year for her. I am hopeful that next year will be better.

We went to the hospital today for a chemotherapy session, but it was postponed as she was running a slight fever from a respiratory infection. Nothing serious, but it breaks my heart to see her thinning hair from the chemo, see her becoming more prone to falling ill, not being able to enjoy retirement as much as she could have (though she's still quite active).

It is rather scary how things can change so drastically in a moment, forcing us to totally alter our frame of mind and lifestyles etc as well - hers, my father's and mine. This month a year ago, she just retired, was given nice farewells by her colleagues and it was time for her to really relax and enjoy life. But just a year on, she is diagnosed with cancer and facing this threat to her life.

I know she will do her best to overcome this. She's only 61. There are still so many years more to live, things to see, do and experience. I am hopeful.

2010-09-13T19:03:00.003+08:00

Mortality

My mother is reacting well to the chemotherapy, it seems. But now, my father in law has been struck by mild stroke. Coming to the age where my parents' generation are falling ill one after another.

Mortality - something that is still rather distant to me, but which my parents' generation is coming to face. My mother is only 61 this year. She has only retired for less than a year. My father in law has all along been fit and healthy, even though he has high blood pressure and occasional bouts of dizziness. The thing that's hard to accept is that it can be so abrupt, without any obvious signs or warning signals.

When it hits, everything becomes so simple, so basic, yet difficult - the fight for one's life, to resume leading life normally, all for the taste of cherry. Take a moment to cry, but after that it's time to be strong, there's no time and it's not worth the effort to think too much. Just focus on survival, on getting life back on track or at least to enjoy whatever time one has left.

Well, it's always easy for me to say!

2010-09-06T21:56:00.002+08:00

Singapore

My feeling towards Shanghai has evolved from a sense of novelty to a sense of comfort and familiarity. At this particular moment, I hope I can stay here for as long as possible.

I worry about my family, particularly my mother, I miss my friends, but I don't feel much for the country 'Singapore' (nation states are but artificial constructs). I am proud that Spore is relatively clean, efficient and corruption free, I love City Hall at night, I enjoyed staying overnight at the airport, cycling from East Coast to Changi Beach, my early morning runs at Chinese Garden / Pandan reservoir, flying budget to Thailand for holidays. But that's about it (it's actually quite a lot thinking about it!).

I think Singapore does not have as much of a soul / identity as Hong Kong, Taiwan, Korea or China. I dont think Singaporeans are particularly warm people, and I dont quite like the 'culture' if there is one so as to speak.

But all these cant change the fact that it is the place where I spent close to 30 years of my life (perhaps all the time I spent abroad adds up to a year), where I know how to go around, where everything is familiar to me. It is like one's parents/siblings - like them, dislike them, you can't change the fact that they are ingrained into your personal identity.

It's funny how I had wanted to write about Shanghai, but ended up writing about Singapore instead.

2010-08-30T22:27:00.002+08:00

南京！南京！

I caught it again at my friend's place. I want to add that I thought the last part where the director filmed the Japanese's ritual to commemorate their dead was brilliant, highly ironic:

1) the ones mourning should be the Chinese

2) More importantly, I think it tries to tell the futility of it all. What did the Japanese aggression bring to they themselves? They lost their humanity, their people died too and subsequently, they would be punished as a nation (innocent victims and all) through the horrors of Hiroshima and Nagasaki

2010-08-30T22:11:00.003+08:00

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I heard people say it's good. Now I have finally caught it. And I love it! Always like films that are a bit philosophical and has a message. There were a few messages I felt:

1) You are what you are. You can erase your memory, but you'll end up doing the things that you did, just like Kirsten Dunst falling in love with the doc for the second time, Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet coming together again after they wiped each other out from their memories. A bit like Anna & Anna, the film Karena Lam acted in.

2) Good memories come with the bad. Initially, Jim Carrey was erasing the memories of quarrels off his mind, but then he came to the moments which he cherished, and that's when he begged for the process to stop. Good and bad, happiness and sorrow, are interwined. Do you really want to erase them all???

I think this is a rare film in the sense that it can be classified as science fiction or romance! I find it much more touching and romantic than the other DVD I saw with my wife that night (Dear John - a simple-minded weepy-soppy film). What can be more intimate than Jim Carrey bringing Kate Winslet into his most embarrassing childhood memories? The final few scenes before his memory got erased was also rather touching. Enjoying the last moments together, her whispering into his ear to meet up at Montauk (Dont know which corner of the earth this is!)

At the end after they heard each other's voice recordings, they still got together, despite what they know would come - the friction, what they would dislike / despise about each other, because the love is much stronger than all of these.

I felt inspired to tolerate and forgive the parts of my wife which I sometimes can't quite stand!

2010-08-13T21:26:00.002+08:00

My mother

My mother has been diagnosed with stage 3C ovarian cancer. The tumour has been removed, along with 4 litres (!) of fluid stuck in her abdomen (one of the symptoms of the disease).

No exaggeration to say that it was devastating to learn that, especially when I have just been posted to Shanghai. What I saw happened to some of my friends' parents, what I feared has now happened, for real. I did some research on the internet, which said the prognosis is 21%, but the doc said it's 30-40%. But stats are just stats - what's the point of saying there's only a 0.00001% chance of getting struck by lightning if you happen to be that unlucky loser. And vice versa.

My mother is taking it well, and has completed the first chemo session today. She's very strong mentally, and she's the don't worry too much, listen to the doc, take it as it comes sort.

I think my mother is the person whom I am most emotionally attached to in my life so far, and whom I owe the most emotional debt to (my wife will take that position some day). There are many moments of my life I remember, particularly:
- When I was a kid, I made her go back home to bring my my board game when I was at my grandma's house
- I also threw things at her when she refused to buy me a toy (such memories still haunt me, I would advise modern day child tyrants to avoid such behaviours or you will be plagued with guilt for the rest of your life)
- When she and my father visited me at BMT (she cooked spaghetti etc which I asked for, didnt really expect her to buy it, let alone cook it first thing in the morning and come from Clementi to Tekong)
- When we went to Wild Wild Wet and she was smiling and enjoying it as we took the water slide
- The countless times when she bathed and cleaned my paternal grandmother when she became senile

My mother has done a lot of good things in her life, the most admirable of which was the way she took care of her mother, siblings and even her senile mother in law. I pray and I hope that she will now be rewarded by the good karma she has accumulated.

We can all only do our best, face this episode stoically and hope that things will go well eventually. Part of life.

2010-08-08T16:43:00.003+08:00

My Mother

My mother is in hospital now. She just had surgery on Monday to remove a few tumours in her womb, as well as drain out 4.5 litres of liquid. 4.5 litres!!!

She said she may need to go for some further treatment. She wasnt clear - mentioned stage 3 and chemo or something, which made me VERY worried. I have asked her to request the doctor to email me on her condition.

Who can I confide in? Who can help me carry this mental and emotional burden?

2010-08-08T16:31:00.002+08:00

Just like signing up for a (ultra) marathon

My wife is very stressed about her work. I can understand, and I feel very much for her, but it is a path she chose. She's ambitious, not the sort who would just doing a routine job contentedly. Her current job is a huge step up from her previous one, it's very challenging and no matter whether it's going to be successful, the process and journey will be very draining and tortuous. But it is just so her to choose such a job.

Me? I am quite driven in my job as well, primarily not for the money, probably more for the challenge and recognition. But I have no burning desire to do what she's doing.

I like running, I took part in a marathon, but there's no way I am going to bring misery to myself by signing up for an ultra marathon, especially when one is not a natural athlete and has limited experience to boot.

All I can do is to offer her some energy gel, bananas, water and muscle rub along the way!

2010-08-04T19:09:00.002+08:00

我同意

“两个人不需要活成一个人...每个人应该保留个人的完整空间...每个人必须是独立的个体”戴立忍

2010-08-01T18:13:00.002+08:00

500 Days of Summer

I really enjoyed this film, could totally empathize with the male lead, only difference being I never had it to begin with, not to talk about losing it!

At the end of it, I felt a bit miserable, as if emotions from the past resurfaced. The extreme desire for someone, yet having to come to terms with the fact that she just won't be yours. It's tough liking someone so much but that person just treats you as a friend, every little thing that she does, however unintentional, could cause so much hurt. You try your best to tame her to win her heart but failed, and then someone else does so effortlessly. (I like this development in the plot, how true!)

Long gotten over it, but memories of how I felt then still remains in my heart.

2010-07-22T20:20:00.004+08:00

Coming up to 3 months

I have been here for close to three months. Perhaps it's time to reflect on how life has been.

Work - Not as busy as I would have liked. I even found time to complete the social media belt system from scratch, earning the accolade of being the first guy in APAC to achieve the brown belt! Team wise, couldnt ask for more - great team members who are naturally motivation, capable and unselfish. A picture of my Practice less a few on maternity and at client meetings:

Family - All smooth and steady, but my wife has been very preoccupied with work. It was great that my father in law was here for a period of time, which gave me an opportunity to get to know him better. He's the shy, introvert type, just like me, so while I love him, we do not really interact that much when I went to Haikou. I hope my parents and in laws will come over again. My parents have never been here.

Friends - Junwen, Alvin, Xiaoyan, Kenong, Karen Lin....the friends I have met/hosted here. I enjoyed the late night walks / 'adventures'. Going to catch up with Junyang this weekend when I go over to Beijing for a business trip tomorrow. I do hope to make some friends here, though I am an introvert!

Personal - I love Shanghai when I came over in 2003. Probably because it was a novel experience then and it was carefree times. I still feel comfortable here (apart from the commuter rush), but that love for the city has dissipated. Perhaps it was the love for a lifestyle, the thrill of being alone in an unfamiliar place that made that few months in 2003 one of the most enjoyable periods of my life.

Overall, it has been ok, nothing terribly exhilarating, but not too bad either. I hope the future will bring more surprises.

2010-07-22T20:15:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas Mr Lawrence

A friend sent this to me some years ago. Havent been able to find the CD!

2010-07-22T19:00:00.000+08:00

喜欢你

2010-07-20T21:39:00.001+08:00

蝇

2010-07-13T20:34:00.003+08:00

东邪西毒

I caught Ashes of Time again over the weekend. The last time I saw the film was probably when I was in the army or JC. It is the Wong Kar Wai film that I like most, followed by Chungking Express.

I like the theme that cuts across many of his films, lamenting the transience of love, the pain and futility of trying to hold onto something that has already changed with time.

2010-07-12T19:09:00.001+08:00

当你不能够再拥有，你唯一可以做的，就是令自己不要忘记。

2010-07-12T19:07:00.001+08:00

人最大的烦恼，就是记性太好

2010-07-12T19:05:00.001+08:00

任何人都可以变得狠毒，只要你尝试过什么叫嫉妒

2010-07-09T21:04:00.002+08:00

Busiest Week

This is my busiest week since I have been here. Have been working since last Sat, clocked 15-16 hour days on Mon/Tues (after minusing lunchtime!).

It's not that I am not used to work being this hectic, and indeed I do like to be busy (and learn in the process), but at the end of the day there has to be a balance, or else it's not sustainable and it drains out all the energy and attention that should be used to focus on the less urgent but very important stuff.

My goal is to leave by 8pm on average. I think it's achievable in this office!

2010-06-23T19:50:00.002+08:00

5th anniversary

Yesterday was my 5th anniversary in Edelman. I think I will remember the date for some time, just I remember my enlistment (20/01/1999) and ORD dates (19/05/2001). Ahem, interesting comparison.

I guess all that I want to say are in my Spore farewell speech, but I think one thing I want to add is while there were tough times, tiring times, frustrating times, it's the people I work with whom kept me going, and who gave me some fond memories to cherish. Both the Edelman folks and the Edelman Alumni. It is by going through thick and thin, hearing and helping one another out that we have bonded. The morning jogs, late night ah mengs, prata at Aviva etc.

I will remember all the wonderful folks who have left, and those I left behind in Singapore! I hope my time here in Shanghai will be as fruitful, both in terms of professional development and making new friends and comrades. And hopefully without going through such a draining journey!

2010-06-13T18:20:00.002+08:00

dont quite miss home

I don't think I quite miss home. I am not the type. And I just dont think about it.

And my mother is not the type to call. I remembered when I was in Fudan for a semester, she called me perhaps once every...few months? It's no exaggeration. And now it's the same as well, though I am a bit worried about them as they are getting on in age. She just doesnt call if I dont call her in the first place. We always assume that everything is ok, whereas for my wife's family, the culture is the opposite - they always assume the worst if you dont call!

Yes, I dont miss home, and I am more proud than ashamed to say so. I like it here, but I feel like (I am in fact) a foreigner here. This is not my place, it does not belong to me.

I hope this will change.

2010-05-31T18:12:00.002+08:00

9 Years

I met my wife for the first time 9 years ago. I have known her for close to 1/3 of my life, although the initial years were spent apart from each other.

I have always said that emotional investment over time strengthens our relationship. Over these 9 years, she has made a lot of sacrifices for our relationships. I have seen her happy (such as the time we spent in Europe), stressed, sad and even unconsolable. She's one person who 自讨苦吃, but she has the courage (or naivety?) to work for what she wants.

I would say I understand her. I know her style, what she wants, how she thinks, how she would react to things, how I can never expect her to be on time for any appointment (I can't remember her ever being on time in these 9 years) etc etc etc. But strangely, she often says she does not understand me, although I consider myself a rather open person and not difficult to understand.

Maybe it is because we are very different in character. She is a social butterfly, extrovert, has something to say to everyone, 老少咸宜, while I struggle to make small talk with people. She can't stand being alone, whereas I often appreciate solitude. The only similarity we have is probably that we love our grandparents!

What is it that brought us together? From that moment when I held her hand when we crossed the road, or before that - the moment where I lingered in the corridor waiting for her, or even before that - when I came down from the bus and she came to interview me on 31st May 2001?

It's not as simple as that. Our journey together began there, but that we continued to walk the same path together after so many years takes more than mere serendipity. At times when it was close to breaking point, holding us together was the belief that whatever bad times we were facing were just temporary, the bond we have nurtured which would make parting a pain that we just could not bear.

Those episodes have come flooding back into my mind. They are what I will remember, what I cherish, without which this relationship would not have flourished to this day.

2010-05-26T20:35:00.001+08:00

周庄（二）

2010-05-25T20:28:00.001+08:00

周庄（一）

2010-05-25T20:17:00.002+08:00

My father in law

My father in law is in Shanghai, to cook me and my wife, and to see the world expo. He has stayed for a month and will be leaving this Friday.

I love my wife's family, but I am not an extrovert (understatement), so I wouldnt really talk much to my father in law when I go over to Haikou. This few weeks have been a great opportunity to get closer and bond with him. That's what most valuable about him making the trip here. We brought him to Yangzhou and Zhouzhuang, I have even slept on the same bed with him twice!

2010-05-25T20:09:00.003+08:00

I am in China

I realized I was in China when I went for a client event (brand workshop) on 15 May and there on my table, apart from the usual mineral water, was a porcelain cup filled with Chinese tea, which was constantly refilled. I felt macham like the Hu Jintaos in the TV news clips, having meetings with foreign leaders sipping Chinese tea.

Something so minute, but it left a deep impression on me. I was thinking - wow this is a real civilisation, with its own unique and distinctive traits and practices. Singapore? Only a small, little migrant society.

Btw, the hotel staff also did not allow me to bring in coffee to the room after the tea break!

2010-05-10T20:42:00.000+08:00

扬州（二）

2010-05-10T20:33:00.003+08:00

扬州（一）

2010-05-10T20:04:00.004+08:00

3 Friends in 10 Days

I arrived in Shanghai on 30 April. Have caught up with two friends who visited from Singapore and another Shanghaiese friend whom I have not met in 5 years. Spent quality time with them - drinking (coffee and smoothies), walking around the bund and Lujiazhui at night. My father in law is also staying with us for a few months, work has also been ok so far, so I am happy.

But of course, life ins unpredictable, more so when I am starting anew here in a unfamiliar place, so I shall be mindful that things can always take a turn for the worse.

But anyway, I hope more people will come visit! :)

2010-04-28T00:41:00.003+08:00

Passion vs Detachment

When I was younger, in secondary school, I believed that enlightenment is the path to happiness, that it's all about removing emotional attachment. Emotional attachment is borne out of ignorance, the lack of understanding about the transience of life.

In the past year or so, my thinking has evolved. Isnt removing emotional attachment unnatural? Or at worst cowardly? Isnt passion and desire the great engine of life, the reason for living?

At the end of the day, I dont think there is one single truth. Everyone needs to find what he/she agrees with, what resonates with him /her.

My personality and character are more inclined towards the latter. The dam is now bursting, after years of attempted (often unsuccessful) suppression.

2010-04-28T00:32:00.003+08:00

Farewell

Today's my farewell at Edelman Singapore. Unfortunately many of the folks were at MBS or other clients.

I think all that I want to say is in my farewell speech. The well wishes of friends, colleagues and clients, their recognition of my efforts, mean a lot to me, and will be a source of encouragement when I face difficult times ahead.

It is always difficult to tear oneself away from people and places one has grown attached to, but one needs to keep moving, exploring and experiencing life. I always know I dont want to stay in Singapore my whole life - seeds of wanderlust planted byRoald Dahl's Going Solo maybe.

It may turn out well. It may not. Let's see what the future brings!

2010-04-27T18:30:00.001+08:00

My Edelman Farewell Speech

I have been through quite a few farewells in the past five years, and for the past couple of years, I cant help thinking it would be my turn and what will I say. The time is finally here.

I often get asked why I have stayed for some long in this company. Apart from the fact it is hard to find another job (just joking), I always say that one big reason for me staying as long as I have is the people and culture here.

And for this I have you to thank, people who are here today, those who are at MBS as well as the Edelman alumni who have left and who I still miss dearly. Thanks for offering your support, both tangible and intangible, and your friendship:
- To the admin and finance staff who sit with me and offer me their food at most company functions
- To folks who have been around for some time: It has been a great journey and your presence has been important and reassuring. And to be honest I am glad I am leaving before you!
- To the newbies (be it young CEs or folks new to Edelman): I see your drive, eagerness and passion. This is not a bad place to be in. I hope you will learn as much as I have learnt here, and hopefully in fewer hours as well!
- And to Bob for his guidance and genuine concern about our careers, and because I believe the leadership sets the tone and culture for the company

There were good times and bad times – some really hard, frustrating, and physically / mentally draining times. I have lost some hair along the way. There was even a time when I was just a signature away from leaving. I wont know whether it would have turned out better for me or not, but the important thing here (as we say in media training) is I knew why I stayed and what I stayed for. Well, it is also my belief that humans have the tendency to beautify our memories, so I am leaving here as a happy man!

I would just like to end with a quote that I read recently, which sorts of explains why I want to move out of my comfort zone to Shanghai, and which I hope will offer you food for thought, especially in tough times, be it work-wise or not:

"What if pleasure and displeasure were so tied together that whoever wanted to have as much as possible of one must also have as much as possible of the other..." - Nietzsche

2010-04-26T18:38:00.002+08:00

至理名言

“小事听话，大事才可以不听话!”

- Ivy Ho, Crossing Hennessy

2010-04-25T22:41:00.003+08:00

Last Weekend in SG

My last weekend here went well, worthy of a last weekend!

FRI: Went for a farewell dinner with colleagues, followed by karaoke till 2am, where I had to sing 黃立行's <<打分数>> thrice

SAT: Met up with a good friend. Spent a few hours just chit chatting (I can probably count on the fingers of one hand the number of people in this world I can comfortably do that with). Also caught ‘Crossing Hennessy’ by Ivy Ho, which was not a bad film. Then spent the night with another two friends at Changi Airport (also two of the very few people I can do that with).

SUN (TODAY): I slept for virtually the whole day, then went for a jog in the evening. My last long jog at Chinese Garden. I saw an iguana, and even rare still – a half rainbow. Spent the night at home with my parents. Wrote my Edelman farewell speech.

I am glad to spend quality time with these people I hold dear to my heart. God knows when I will meet again. There are some I didn’t manage to meet leading up to my departure, but hopefully, I will still get to meet them again. Some time in the future.

2010-04-21T23:36:00.001+08:00

"The absurdity of our education: its end has not been to make us good and wise, but learned." Montaigne

2010-04-21T23:32:00.003+08:00

"The wise man would not despise himself even if he has the stature of a dwarf, but he nevertheless wishes to be tall.

The wise man is self-sufficient in that he can do without friends, not that he desires to do without them" - Seneca

2010-04-21T23:26:00.002+08:00

What should worry us is not the number of people who oppose us, but how good their reasons are for doing so - Socrates

(So what if my wife says I dont listen to her or my parents!)

2010-04-20T22:52:00.003+08:00

"Wisdom lies in correctly discerning where we are free to mould reality according to our wishes and where we must accept the unalterable with tranquility" - Seneca

2010-04-20T22:46:00.002+08:00

"What if pleasure and displeasure were so tied together that whoever wanted to have as much as possible of one must also have as much as possible of the other..." - Nietzsche

2010-04-16T01:21:00.001+08:00

Phuket & Phi Phi (3)

2010-04-16T01:16:00.001+08:00

Phuket & Phi Phi (2)

2010-04-16T01:06:00.003+08:00

Phuket & Phi Phi (1)

2010-04-13T08:31:00.005+08:00

Casual Conversation

I have lost any desire for casual conversation with strangers - be it taxi drivers back home, or fellow tourists here in Thailand. In the minibus from the airport, at the beach, there were a couple of ocassions to strike up conversations with fellow travellers, but I have no desire to do so.

Casual conversation is not a bad thing, it gives a sense of bonding among people, where ever they come from. And perhaps it relieves boredom. But frankly, I prefer my own companionship. Talking to myself, contemplating, observing the surroundings. What can a casual conversation achieve? It has little potential of coming anything remotely close to a deep conversation, one has to always try to be polite and maybe act interested. It's not worth the effort.

Stuff like 'before sunrise' and 'after sunset' starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy are nice, but ultimately a dream fantasy, the cruder and more brainless version being 'Pretty Woman'.

2010-04-13T08:18:00.003+08:00

Liberte, Equalite, Fraternite en Thailande

I love Thai culture. People here are gentle and always smiling. Even when bargaining. It makes me not want to bargain too much. I dont need to get the cheapest price in order to feel good about myself. All I want is to make sure that I dont get ripped off and end up feeling that I am an idiot. So what if the price is a bit higher? These nice people are working for their livelihood after all.

What I love most about Thai culture is its openness and tolerance, towards different occupations, sexual orientation, ethnicities. Actually, tolerance is probably not the right word. It implies that you do not like something, but just 'tolerate' it. It goes beyond that, It's about truly accepting diversity and different lifestyles, it's about recognizing the commonness in all mankind - be it gays, ladyboys, bar girls.

Isnt this the true demonstration of 'Liberte, Equalite, Fraternite', a slogan and belief that ignites my passion and idealism? Of course, democracy in Thailand is in a mess now, but in terms of day to day living, this is as close to it as I have seen (I have not yet been to Scandinavia by the way!).

2010-04-12T20:25:00.003+08:00

Courage

I am in Phuket now, on a holiday I booked a couple of months ago. A short break before the next phase of my career next month.

It has been a harrowing couple of weeks since I came back from my Shanghai worktrip. Found that my mother was in hospital and my father was hobbling around. It was a nasty shock, to say the least.

The subsequent days were tough and worrying, but things seem to have gotten better, though one can never be sure.

As my body was submerged in the water at the beach, soothed by the waves and view of the endless sea, with sunlight shimmering off the water, I told myself that many things are not within our control, are out of our hands, but we need to face difficulties with courage, to try our best, all that we can, be it to overcome challenges or to strive for what we want. And of course, we must be prepared to accept the final outcome, whatever it is.

My mother's latest hospitalization was among the most stressful I have experienced (the last time being the time when she had a tumour in her chest). Because the docs couldnt find a cause, and because the timing coincides with the time when I am about to move overseas. Maybe it could be because I was going to move overseas, I thought.

It was during this episode that I realize how much I owe her, the emotional debt that can never be fully repaid.

2010-03-28T01:37:00.002+08:00

An Early Farewell

I had a farewell dinner with some Edelman alumni folks tonight. I was pleasantly surprised that they bought me a laptop bag and a 4GB ipod shuffle -very useful stuff, which is what I like.

I am very much an introvert, not the most expressive person in the world and do not quite have the sunshine personality that my wife has. So I am very thankful for these friendships, and for sweet gestures such as this and what they did for my birthday in 2008.

I think I will bring along the card that they gave me and place it in my new office.

2010-03-20T18:59:00.004+08:00

Not going for it after all

My team has decided to back out of the Aviva Ironman. I would have given it a shot, though I am not sure if I will be able to finish my 90.1km cycling leg (I was even about to rent a road bike). But I didnt really insist when other team members wanted to give up. I have to admit I was disappointed, but rather relieved as well! I guess it is easier to make a collective decision when the responsibility can be shared with two others!

I did go for a second cycling session at East Coast last week. It was very enjoyable. Weather was much better and I cycled further - this time to the end of Changi Beach and back - in the same amount of time. Maybe it was the weather, maybe I have gotten just a little bit fitter, who knows? Anyway it's something interesting that I would like to do again before I go over to Shanghai.

2010-03-07T19:19:00.003+08:00

Cycling @ East Coast

I went to East Coast alone today to cycle, in preparation for the Aviva Ironman 70.3. Taking part in the corporate relay. My colleagues had volunteered for the swimming and running legs, so I am left with the cycling. Something novel for me, but I suspect it's gonna be quite torturous for my butt and legs (it is one of the great mysteries of life why no one has managed to invent a more comfortable bicycle seat!)

I understand that cycling 90.1km typically takes around 3-4 hours (I suspect I may take more than 4!). This is the first time I will be taking part in a cycling competition, and the first time that I am so ill prepared as well. I did 2 hours today on a mountain bike, from McDonalds at East Coast, all the way to Changi Beach Park and back, which was not very far. I looked at the time, and it took me around 15 mins to complete a 4km stretch, which meant I was travelling at 16km per hour when I did to do 30km an hour to finish in 3 hours! I was using a mountain bike, but still it was very slow.

The first hour was quite enjoyable. I had not cycled at East Coast for perhaps a couple of years, and I seldom went as far as Changi Beach Park anyway. However, I began to tire on the return leg, especially near the 2 hour mark. It took me around the same time to and fro though. I probably need to slow down on the actual day or I will be a goner before I hit 3 hours.

I hope my butt and muscles dont hurt too much tomorrow. Gonna be there again next weekend!

2010-02-28T19:15:00.004+08:00

Peggy Hsu

I went to catch Peggy Hsu's concert last night at the esplanade recital studio, as part of the Huayi Festival. Thanks to the festival, there is now an opportunity to catch singers who are great, but not popular enough to command a full concert audience.

This is the second I have caught over the years - the first was Wawa a couple of years back. I missed out on Huang Shujun one year as I was on leave, and on Luo Dayou as the tickets were sold out. The sound was great, and it is a much more intimate setting, macham having the most expensive seats in a concert. I remember weeping at the Wawa concert, she was absolutely solid.
I like Peggy Hsu, she was charming in a chirpy, lighthearted way, and listening to a live band up close is always fantastic.

I am happy for her. She has carved a niche for herself. Her first album flopped and she laid low for a long while. I had that album too, and found it too commercial, and not much to my liking. That was around ten years ago, I remember I was in the army then, and saw her at HMV.

Her second album released in 05 or 06 received rave reviews, and I decided to give it a try. It did not disappoint. Her music is unique, fairytale like and there was strong thematic unity. I bought her third and fourth album after the concert, and they carried on the style, with some evolution, one being brighter and more positive, the other darker.

10 long years, she's 29 now (as I saw in her blog). I noticed that her signature has changed (got her to autograph my album). I am truly happy to see her finally finding 'success' by sticking to her music and being herself. She may not be as popular as Stefanie Sun etc, but she has a bunch of loyal fans who appreciate her talent (what more can an artist ask for?).

Her music has been refreshing and very unique. There's consistency in her style but also a gradual evolution in theme etc which keeps her music fresh and interesting. I hope she will continue to surprise.

2010-01-25T22:28:00.004+08:00

《不能没有你》

I caught it last night, after I went back to the office to OT. At least the evening ended on a good note.

It was really a very simple film that any Tom, Dick or Harry can understand, unlike the typical Taiwanese arthouse film. Very simple, but very real. It left some impression on me after the film. Made my heart feel just a little bit heavy.

I thought the part of the father going diving to make a living was fantastic. He was risking his life for his daughter, while she kept watch and waited patiently for him to resurface. Thought that part reinforced the bond between father and daughter very well.

The other part I noticed was when the father went to Taipei to ask for help and bumped into the the political protests etc. Seemed to criticise the pointlessness and hypocrisy of such political showboating by politicians when they rather go and wayang and talk about noble political notions rather than help a common man solve what to him is the most important problem in his life.

Not sure of the reason why in the end the director decided not to show the daughter's face in the final scene when she finally met her father again.

2010-01-10T23:17:00.003+08:00

Xitang - At Night

A pity the camera wasnt too good. It was really nice, perhaps nicer than Houhai in Beijing.

2010-01-10T23:11:00.004+08:00

Xitang (2)

It was a relatively sunny day. Perhaps the clothes, bedsheets and blankets hung out to dry added to the authenticity rather than spoilt the pictures.

2010-01-10T22:32:00.002+08:00

Xitang

2010-01-08T22:54:00.004+08:00

上海之行

For the first time, I saw snow in Shanghai. It was cold for a couple of days, to the point where my ears and fingers hurt, which I was familiar with when I was on exchange there years ago. I was probably one of the few who enjoyed the cold and its novelty (how many winters have I experienced in my life???)

It was an enjoyable time, which was not always the case when I visit my wife. We would often quarrel in the past. When I went to Guangzhou to visit her previously, we would quarrel when we go out every weekend. But I guessed we have more or less harmonised ourselves. I know her style now and would go with it at times. For example, she said she wanted to bring me to eat at a Korean restaurant that I told her about as I missed the restaurant (when actually she wanted to go more than me). I went with it. When we finished our dinner late and had to decide how to return home, I went with her suggestion, coz I knew that she would blame me if I insisted on my suggestion and we end up missing the last train. During the weekend, she asked me where I would like to visit. It was obvious she wanted to go to Xitang and stay a night there. So I went with it, and I wasnt disappointed. At times, her suggestions turn out quite well too.

For my return trip, Malaysian Airlines screwed up when the flight got delayed / cancelled or whatever (I still dont know what happened up to now). Spent frustrating hours in limbo, but was compensated with a SIA business class direct flight ticket back. For a S$398 return ticket all inclusive. My first time on business class (which was a huge luxury considering I fly mostly on budget!).

When I left, I felt a familiar tinge of sadness that I always feel when we had to part. It wasn't as strong, as I know I will be seeing her again in February, but it was still there. One is lucky to have someone who makes one feel this way.

2009-12-21T00:22:00.000+08:00

Parents' in Law's Visit

2009-12-20T23:35:00.003+08:00

Recap

I am flying off to Shanghai on the evening of the 24th, my birthday. Flying by MAS, transiting in KL. Probably wont have time to blog again till next year.

How has the past year been? I was promoted to manager, in four years, which is fast. I plan to move to China next year, which will be a change, and a challenge. We do need to get out of our comfort zone once in a while. I hope to continue learning and growing.

I finally threw my wedding dinner. It went the way I wanted, and my wife and I are both happy that we did something fun and memorable with our friends and family who matter to us, for this important milestone in our lives.

There were certain periods where I felt restless, it is still lingering in some parts of me. I probably need more distractions, which will likely come after I move to Shanghai some time next year.

My mother retired, and she seems to be enjoying her retirement. She is a simple and fun loving person, and has so many siblings to go out with. But I should probably still spend more time with my parents.

My wife has found a new job, a very challenging one. I am with her, supporting her in a small, modest way in this journey. We will see where it takes us.

I am going to be 30 next year. Enlistment was 10 years ago, JC 12, secondary school 16. I have known my wife for 8 years. There were happy times, troubled times, stressed times. I am thankful to those who have offered me their friendship, care and concern over the years. My wife and my family who put up with all my nonsense at times.

I feel that 20s in the best period of one's life -more matured than teenage times, still quite carefree and burdenless, ready to take on the world, to experience life. Still wrinkle-free, still have hair on one's head.

Coming to the end of this phase though. Let's see what surprises and challenges life brings in the future.

2009-12-20T22:40:00.002+08:00

Parents in Law

For our wedding, my parents in law came to Singapore for the first time. They are not the travelling sort. My mother in law couldnt quite adapt to the environment here, but my father in law was fine.

We brought them to visit NTU (where Hairong and I studied), and Hairong's aunt married to a Singaporean here. Also to Merlion Park, around the Esplanade, the Orchard Xmas light up, and tried Starbucks.

I thought my father in law looked in high spirits especially, though it was rather exhausting for them. My wife said she saw her father hold her mother's hand for the first time in her life while we were walking down Orchard!

2009-12-20T22:17:00.003+08:00

My Wedding

Had not found time to blog about this. It went well, the way I wanted it to. A few couldnt make it, but most of those who matter to me turned up. It was simple but fun. I love the restaurant - it's especially beautiful at night, both outside and inside. We made our entrance in traditional costume on a trishaw that I rode. I then gave a short speech, and we had a silk ball throwing segment before we went in for dinner.

I was pleasantly surprised that my friends and colleagues were quite 'on' in doing the yam seng thingy. Some of my ang moh colleagues / ex colleagues tried talking to my in-laws in Chinese, as did an ex-colleague's fiance, who was Hainanese and had actually gone to visit Hainan with his father, and who probably could not speak decent Chinese to save his life.

I also wrote and distributed a press release, did a slide show which was shown during the reception, and had a sms quiz based on these content during the dinner, which was quite hilarious. Altogether I received over 120 smses for 5 questions, not a bad response rate! Also gave out a best dressed prize - an 80 sen ringgit washing soap, after making poor Yanni Yoong do the catwalk.

I would say most of the ideas - trishaw entrance (I was also very pleasantly surprised that the trishaw was decorated beautifully by my colleagues), silk ball, sms quiz - were my wife's (over the years, I have found that it is smart to listen to her at times). I thought of the press release, best dressed and the emcees (an ang moh in traditional Chinese wear as the English emcee, and another colleague whose Chinese totally sucks to be the Chinese emcee - a career breakthrough in her wedding emceeing career, I told her).

As my wife was in Shanghai prior, I had to do most of the preparation, which meant I sort of had more control over things. I developed all the content - speech, press release, slide show, music - which mattered to me.

The evening ended smoothly before 11pm. We came home happy. For the next few days, my wife kept talking of it. And when I saw photos from the wedding, she had a gigantic smile on her face. :)

2009-12-20T22:12:00.002+08:00

Simple Pleasures of Life

I had not jogged the entire week. Decided to wake up early (and actually managed to do so) to go for a morning run. Have not done that for some time, so it was refreshing and enjoyable. The cool early morning, quiet, with the sun just rising and its rays creating reflections off the lake. One of those 'simple pleasures of life' moments.

2009-12-20T21:56:00.003+08:00

Pre Birthday Treat

I went to JB today with a friend. I like her - She's the sort who's spontaneous at times, never ever late, and shows she values you as a friend.

We had Bah Kut Teh and caught "Bodyguards and Assasins" at some Jalan Tebrau place. I thought the show tried too hard to be a tearjerker, otherwise it was okay. Leon Lai's role was totally hilarious and unnecessary, totally didnt fit in. Wang Xueqin's character was interesting, how he just got more and more engulfed till in the end he lost what mattered most to him - his son.

It felt a bit refreshing walking around the residential areas in JB, rather than the usual shopping centres, but we were a bit rushed for time. Would have liked to walk a bit slower, a bit longer.

2009-12-12T23:40:00.002+08:00

My Favourite Books (Not in any particular order)

1) The Little Prince - Helped me understand the meaning of love, and the need for rituals.

2) Man's Search for Meaning - I used to think about what is THE meaning of life. Reading this made me realise that each person has to find his own meaning that makes life worth living, and worth enduring hardships for.

3) Of Human Bondage - Can identify with it, the search for love, for one's place in this world, for truth and the meaning of life, the humiliating obssession with someone.

4) The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Very philosophical - Lightness and weight - An eternal struggle.

5) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (and most, if not all of Roald Dahl's books) - Loved his wicked sense of humour. My childhood favorite

6) 《倾城之恋》- Eileen Chang's observation of human behaviour and their underlying emotions is unsurpassed. A darker, more pessimistic Chinese equivalent of Jane Austen.

There are many other books that delight me - economics, anthropology, marketing, politics, science fictio, but the ones above are those that truly touch me emotionally and not just intellectually. Realised they are mostly fiction!

2009-11-29T15:03:00.001+08:00

How much do you know the wedding couple? Sms Quiz
你有多了解新人 - 简讯问答游戏

1) How many years have Kok Kuan and Hairong known each other? 8 years
海蓉和国光彼此认识几年了? 八年

2) How many girlfriends did Kok Kuan have, and how many boyfriends did Hairong have before they met each other? None
国光在认识海蓉之前交过几个女朋友,而海蓉在认识国光之前交过几个男朋友? 零

3) Theirs was a long distance relationship for how many years initially? 3 years
他们刚开始是长距离的恋爱,直到几年后海蓉才到新加坡来? 三年

4) What are their nicknames for each other?
他们给彼此的外号是什么? 叶海蓉, 陈大头/大头光

5) Where is the furthest they have traveled together? London
他们一起最远到过哪个城市? 伦敦

6) Is there chicken rice in Hainan? Yes, and Hairong’s father knows how to cook it.
海南岛有没有海南鸡饭? 有,而且海蓉父亲是煮鸡饭的高手!

7) At which place did they have their first kiss? On the bench near Hairong’s house in Haikou他们的初吻在哪里? 说出具体位置! 在海蓉家楼下的小凳子

*In italics - Questions that were chosen by the emcees

2009-11-29T14:59:00.000+08:00

Wedding Speech

Good evening everyone. Usually, she’s much more talkative than me, so today is a rare role reversal. Thank you for being here today, for sharing with us a very precious and memorable day in our lives. Among you are:
· Relatives who have seen me grow up or who grew up with me,
· Friends from secondary school and JC who accompanied me in going through those awkward teenage years,
· Friends I have made in university, without whom uni life would have been rather forgettable,
· Ex and current colleagues who I see more of than my wife, (I still miss my ex colleagues, including some who couldn’t be here today)
· A few of my clients who it is my good fortune to work with,
· Friends who Hairong have made or gotten to know better in Singapore,
· Friends who witnessed us getting together more than eight years ago.

Before we met, Hairong and I were two persons living in two very different worlds, more than 3,000km apart. Our relationship has transformed our lives, and brought us down very different paths from what life would have been if we had not met.

That we got together in a very short time, and have stayed together, is quite unbelievable. At times I can’t believe how fortunate I am. We come from very different family backgrounds, and have very different personalities (apart from the fact that we are both rather stubborn!). She has opened up a whole new world for me, and brought a new perspective to my life (and I hope I have done the same for her!). Most importantly (and it gets rather mushy at this point), she has helped me understand what love is.

There were troubled times in our relationship, even occasions when it was close to the breaking point. That we have salvaged it was more her credit than mine. But the fact that we have gone through and survived those turbulences together has made us treasure this relationship and each other even more.

Even now, she will sometimes still say to me, “我觉得我们的感情变淡了”. To that, I say in front of everyone here - it is total bullshit. Every moment that we spend together, every experience that we share, every emotion that we invest, helps strengthen the bond between us, to the point where we are so much a part of each other’s lives that we can’t imagine life without the other.

Before I end this speech, we would like to thank the emcees Keith and Del for their enthusiasm in taking up this assignment, as well as all of our friends who have helped out today and in the preparation.

And I save this to the last - we would like to thank our parents, and grandparents who couldn’t be here today. I am an only child, and was quite a nasty piece of work when I was a kid, the sort you see in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, to the extent that I often think the bad karma will come back to haunt me if I were ever to become a parent. She’s the youngest in her family, a bit spoilt and was very sick for some periods of her life. We thank our parents for taking care of us and for being been more than patient and tolerant towards us over the years. We also thank them for making us feel so welcomed in each other’s families since we got together.

最后我也想向海蓉爸妈,也就是我爸妈说, 我和海蓉会彼此珍惜,互相支持,相亲相爱,虽然还是避免不了偶尔会吵吵架.

Once again, thank you everyone for being here today and I hope there will be other occasions that we can celebrate together in future!

2009-11-29T14:56:00.001+08:00

TKK and YHR Reaffirm Commitment to Lifelong Partnership

28 November 2009, Singapore – Tan Kok Kuan (TKK), only child of Mr. and Mrs. Tan Joo Tong, and Ye Hairong (YHR), youngest daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Ye Shiqing, today reaffirmed their commitment to a lifelong partnership with a lavish wedding dinner thrown for more than 150 family members and friends. The highly anticipated event marked the latest milestone in the couple’s extraordinary eight-year cross border relationship.

“Kok Kuan and I are delighted to celebrate this significant moment with our families and friends, whose support and encouragement has been instrumental in helping us overcome daunting challenges in the past. We have built a strong foundation for our partnership and will continue to invest in realising its full potential,” said Ms. Ye Hairong.

“Hairong and I have forged a strong and rewarding relationship over the years, built on mutual trust, support and understanding. While we may come from different backgrounds and cultures, and are poles apart in our personalities, we believe our differences enable us to bring together complementary strengths to drive synergies in our marriage,” said Mr. Tan Kok Kuan.

Under the partnership, TKK and YHR commit themselves to a lifelong exclusive companionship which includes loving, comforting, honouring and keeping each other in sickness and in health. In particular, TKK will attempt to reign in his impatience and bad temper while YHR will try to be more punctual and less messy.

The Sino-Singapore partnership was forged in 2001 in Hainan, China, when YHR, then a student reporter for Hainan Daily News, reported on a social work trip to Hainan that TKK participated in. She interviewed TKK because of his relative fluency in Chinese.

That sparked off a long distance relationship sustained by mutual sacrifices. YHR focused on improving her English in order to further her studies overseas, going as far as Beijing for English lessons. TKK took on odd jobs every school vacation including book wrapping, telephone/door-to-door surveying, insurance promoting, and being a manual labourer at a chemical factory, to pay for his annual visits to Hainan. The couple’s efforts were finally rewarded when YHR finally came over to Singapore in 2004. Each other’s first girlfriend/boyfriend, their inspiring love story is tipped to form the core idea of a landmark joint campaign by the Speak Mandarin Campaign, Social Development Unit and National Population Secretariat to be launched next year.

The couple has no immediate plans for children. With HDB resale flat prices at historic highs, they are also monitoring and waiting for the market to cool before exploring purchasing a flat.

####

About Tan Kok Kuan (TKK)
Tan Kok Kuan is a third generation Chinese Singaporean, and the only child of Mr. Tan Joo Tong and Mdm Lim Beng Choo. He grew up in a non Chinese speaking family, watching Disney’s cartoons, reading Roald Dahl’s books and eating at fast food restaurants. He only began brushing up his Chinese and cultivating an avid interest in China in secondary school. As a Singaporean living in an urbanised environment, he still gets excited seeing buffalos up close.

About Ye Hairong (YHR)
Ye Hairong is the youngest of three daughters born to Mr. Ye Shiqing and Mdm Han Rongqi. Born and bred in Hainan, she spent her infant years in the village, and had never stepped out of the island prior to meeting TKK. English was her weakest subject in school, as well as the one she dreaded most. She enjoyed watching Chinese drama serials from Singapore when she was young.

For more information, please contact:

Keith Morrison / Delicia Tan
Edelman Public Relations Worldwide
Tel: 6733 1110
Email: keith.morrison@edelman.com / delicia.tan@edelman.com

2009-11-27T21:45:00.002+08:00

Chinese Part 2

I saw a good point in one of the comments. Why single out Chinese? The people who left the comment said the way all subjects are taught is boring. I wont go to the extent of saying that, but I do agree that English lessons (at least in sec sch) were not too inspiring either. It was endless comprehensions, comprehensions and more comprehensions.

History was probably the worst. Sec 4 history lessons was about answering one exam question after another. It was effective in helping us score A1s, but it sucked away all interest in the subject. Malaya's tin and rubber industries. Rama III, Mongkut, Chulalongkorn, Vajiravudh and Prajahipok! (I think I spelt the last two wrongly!) Anyway, it was memorising, memorising and more memorising. Now that I recollect those times 13 years ago, I remembered there were two specific chapters that I dropped in my revision, thinking that it was unlikely for both to come out in the same 'two choose one' section. But they did! I remembered being rather amused that I was so 'sway' during the exam.

Anyway, back to the point I wanna make. In every subject, there will be those who struggle. For example, there are many people in PR who are good in other subjects but just cant count to save their lives.

Why single out Chinese? Why are people who are lousy in Chinese (and their parents) asking for Chinese to be taught in English? Why arent people who are lousy in maths (and their parents) asking for Maths to be taught differently? And why is no one asking for English to be taught in Chinese? As I said, there are so many students from Chinese speaking backgrounds who cant string together a grammatically correct sentence (as I found out from giving tuition), what's being done to help them improve their English?

Why? Simply because there is no respect for the subject. Chinese is still perceived as second class by many people. It is a historical legacy, which continues to be perpetuated, partly by the government through its continuous efforts to water down the language and pander to the complaints of a vocal upper class minority.

2009-11-24T00:35:00.002+08:00

English and Chinese

Recently, there has been this debate on using English to teach Chinese blah blah blah. My take:

1) Yes, the way Chinese is taught is boring. I dont know how things have changed since my time in school, but then the silly and unimaginative Chinese texts tried to teach moral lessons etc at the same time, which made it even more boring. There is so much potential in Chinese history or contemporary Chinese culture. I began to like the language in secondary school, my teacher then would tell us the stories behind idioms, I listened to Chinese pop music, of which some rare songs were very poetically written. I felt it's much more succinct, and beautiful. Every word says so much. It all fueled my interest in the language. An interesting way of learning Chinese can just be learning from Chinese music lyrics, of which some are very impressively written ( I even sat in on a couple of lessons in such a module in NTU).

2) But I am not sure if teaching Chinese in English serves any purpose. I come from a non Chinese speaking family. My Chinese was lousy in primary school, I struggled to write 100 word compositions, but I did not have to learn Chinese in English! It did take a lot of effort for me to improve my Chinese though. In my first two years in the Chinese High, I had to memorize a passage virtually every week. On hindsight, all those memorizing helped increased my vocabulary, enhanced my sense of sentence structure etc. It was tough. You need to have the conviction and belief, or you just need to be someone like me, who simply did everything the teacher told me to without questioning! But at the end of the day, there's simply no easy way out.

3) I think too many people are making noise on this issue, and neglecting another major issue - students from (usually lower income) Chinese speaking families struggling to learn proper English. I taught tuition in the past to earn extra income and some of the students I taught struggled to string together a grammatically correct sentence. But somehow this group is being neglected. Instead, a more prominent and vocal English speaking group are dominating the agenda and making so much noise on how hard it is to learn Chinese. Policymakers are also more likely to come from these at least middle class backgrounds, and see things from this perspective. As such, there is so much effort focused on making it easier for students to learn Chinese, but little attention paid to helping students from mostly lower class backgrounds learn English. I think this is unfair.

2009-11-24T00:25:00.003+08:00

My Sister's Keeper

This was the film where I heard the most sobbing in the cinema. Ever. I thought it was decent, but not great. Overall I felt there was a lack of focus. The story began seemingly with the story of the little girl suing her parents, but did not pursue that in much depth, instead moving on to the story of the dying sister. That got me rather confused. And then there was the lawyer, blah blah blah. I just felt it jumped from one thing to another without doing justice to the different themes.

I cried watching Nanjing, Nanjing. The President's Last Bang and Tony Takitani also made my heart feel a bit heavy. But not this. Not my type of show. Anyway, it is never easy capturing an entire book in 2 hours or less.

And I must say, Cameron Diaz looked really OLD!!! Anyway I think I was in secondary school when she became famous from 'The Mask'. Around 15 years since. Scary how time makes one old.

2009-11-24T00:09:00.002+08:00

The President's Last Bang

Somehow the President's Last Bang left quite a deep impression on me, even though I caught it a few weeks ago.

Happened slightly more than a year before I was born. The dark comedic way in which the film was presented seemed to poke fun of history. Ironic that the Central Intelligence folks, who were responsible for much of the torture etc, turned on the president, in the name of democracy. Who is to say if they were villians or martyrs? What did they achieve at the end of the day? I dont know enough of recent Korean history even to speculate.

The one message that came out loud and clear, was that of the innocent folks who got swept in - the man who was off duty, but got called back for the mission. He ended up losing his life. There was this one part about the soldiers at the army headquarters not even recognizing their boss, which further amplified the ludicrity of soldiers just following the orders of faceless superiors whom they did not know.

Is that all to it? Not sure what I missed out.

2009-10-28T00:31:00.000+08:00

What is essential is invisible to the eye

"It is the time you have wasted on your rose that makes your rose so important. People have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose."

2009-10-28T00:18:00.003+08:00

My Philosophy on Love

“An ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you. But in herself she matters more than all of you together, since she is the one I watered; since it is she that I placed under the glass dome; since it is she that I sheltered with the screen; since it is she whose caterpillars I killed…Since it is she that I listened to, when she complained, or boasted, or when she was simply being silent. Since it is she who is my rose”

2009-10-28T00:14:00.003+08:00

We all need rituals

"It would be better to come back at the same time of day" said the fox."For instance, if you come at four in the afternoon, when three o'clock strikes I shall begin to feel happy. The closer our time approaches, the happier I shall feel. By four o'clock I shall already be getting agitated and worried; I shall be discovering that happiness has its price!" - The Little Prince

2009-10-27T21:59:00.002+08:00

City of Life and Death

I caught it over the weekend. The latest film that made me cry. My friend found it a typical film - too many films have depicted the Nanking Massacre. Somehow, this had quite an impact on me. Till now, I still remember Liu Ye's part, the resignation at not being able to protect his homeland, the calmness and stoicism in front of death.

I thought he and Fan Wei were brilliant. The latter initially sold out his countrymen to protect his wife, sister and young child, but to no avail. In the end, he sort of atoned for his sin, bravely, by passing his opportunity to escape to another person, sacrificing his life in the process. The part where he left his wife was heart wrenching.

It was refreshing to have quite a heavy Japanese perspective in the film, but I dont think the character was well developed, or that the actor did the role justice. Didnt quite see how he became more and more tormented to the extent that he chose to end his life in the end.

But I like the idea of the celebration ceremony by the Japanese troops in the end. It was a celebration that came at the expense of hundreds of thousands of Chinese lives, and was built on the evil atrocities that the Japanese committed. How can I blame the Chinese for still hating the Japanese even now? I know it's illogical and unfair to the current generation, but the atrocities, the horror, the torture cannot be erased.

I read that the director wanted to show the courage he saw in the Chinese before they were killed in photographs that were taken by Japanese. Some said that this film is different from other war films for its lack of heroes. On the contrary, I think this film is partly an ode to the courage of everyday folks during those times, be it Liu Ye, Gao Yuanyuan or even Fan Wei's characters.

And speaking of Gao Yuanyuan, she looks so old that I couldnt recognise her in the film! In my memory, she is always the amazingly pretty young lady in Beijing Bicycle and the Spring Subway!

2009-10-17T18:22:00.002+08:00

Compatibility

Attended a friend's wedding at her church today. As a couple, their relationship seems quite smooth on the surface. But they mentioned during the speech that there was a time when they wondered if they should still carry on when they found that they were two very different people with different perspectives.

My take is that 'compatibility' is perhaps a meaningless concept. A relationship is about finding a point of balance and harmony between two parties. It is sustained ultimately by what you value in the other party. Everyone is different, and we all have to make an effort to be together. How much you value the other party determines the effort you put into it.

Being different is not necessarily a bad thing. My wife is so very different from me. She has the typical 'yellow' type of personality - a million times more sociable and friendly, but not too organized, whereas I am more towards the other end of the spectrum. She comes from a very nice, loving family, whereas mine is a bit dysfunctional (and I notice this is by no means uncommon).

It was perhaps the differences between us that drew me to her in the first place. And our relationship has opened up a whole new world to me, altering my perspective and views on life.

2009-10-10T17:49:00.003+08:00

All I Want is a Home

I am one of those who are just damn bloody pissed off by Mah Bow Tan and HDB. Prices of resale flats are at an all time high (in a recession!) and when you go for balloting, the flats are typically oversubscribed by around 10 times.

I have heard two possible reasons why HDB is keeping prices high through limiting the supply, both of which sound plausible:
1) Most people owe housing loans and if value of flats depreciate, it could land these people in a net asset/debt deficit, in the recession
2) They are trying to fill up areas like Punggol first!

According to the HDB, 'eight in 10 first-timers could get a flat on their first try if they were not choosy; the success rate was 96 per cent for the second try'.

I am sure these are massaged figures. I suspect that leftover flats that nobody wants (2nd floor, above rubbish chutes type) are offered to every father's mother's son, so most people have a chance if they are 'not too picky'. The thing is I spend my entire life earning money to buy a flat, surely I dont want something that nobody wants? Ask him to buy and stay in these flats! And the way they have communicated shows a lack of empathy for the situations of people like me - these rich fellas could jolly well buy private property for their children.

And one thing I can never understand is why the median COV is always around 5-10K. It is totally different from my experience on the ground. All the flats that I have seen (most are pretty average really) are demanding for 20-30K at least. And we are talking about Jurong West, not the city centre. Find me a decent place with 5-10K COV!

2009-10-08T21:52:00.004+08:00

Ethics Education

I went for a talk on CSR where a question was asked on whether teaching ethics to business students actually serves any purpose.

I topped my small cohort in media law, ethics and policy, so I used to joke that I am the most ethical person in the class. But seriously, the point of teaching ethics is not to impart a fixed set of rules, but to provoke and teach people how to think for themselves, to derive their own values that they can live with.

2009-10-03T23:34:00.002+08:00

As Far as It Gets

I went to Pulau Ubin / Chek Jawa today. A crazy trip that I would never have made if my wife was here. 1 hour MRT to Tampines, then a 30 min bus ride to Changi Village, followed by a 10 min bumboat ride. Adds up to around 2 hours including the waiting time!

Once in a while, it is good to do things that one would not normally do. New, rare experiences are an important part of life, and helps sustain one's enthusiasm for life itself. It was not about what's in Ubin or Chek Jawa, but about making the trip itself. Glad I found someone equally 'on' to go with me!

2009-09-21T23:26:00.003+08:00

1 Swim, 2 Runs, 3 Films

I went for 1 2km swim, 2 2-hour runs and watched 3 films this long weekend.

Inglorious basterds was enjoyable, highly entertaining, maybe too similar to Kill Bill. I like his sense of justice - no restraints, no ifs and buts, no mercy, an eye for an eye. You can take off the Nazi uniform, but we wont let you run away from and disown your past.

Woman is the future of man was basically just saying that men are all bastards. From the ex-classmate who raped the woman, to the fella she loved who took advantage of that to 'cleanse her' and make her pure, and right down to the other fella who had sex with his student. All men want is sex, hypocritical bastards. And the woman? I dont know what to make of her reaction to seeing the two men again? Perhaps working in the bar has made her realise the true nature of men, that she is able to take it calmly, and even give the lecturer a blow job.

Springtime in a small town is an interesting piece of work. The acting is so much like a stage play rather than a movie. Story itself is a struggle between morals/duty and one's desire. So Chinese - the former wins in the end. I can imagine if it were to be a French film or even a Chinese film set in the modern era, the couple would be in bed within half an hour! The struggles, the occasions when they were on the brink of crossing the line, were well handled. In the end, it was back to life as it was, dissatisfying, but a choice made out of duty. So much for spring!

2009-09-20T00:06:00.002+08:00

Frivolous

I went for a two hour jog this evening. Longer than I had intended, but I enjoyed most of it. It had been raining for most of today, so it was very cool. I joggedaround Chinese Garden and Japanese Garden twice. The latter was supposed to be closed at 7pm, so it was dark and empty. I had the 'I am alone in this world feeling' again. One of the simple pleasures of life.

I have been feeling quite restless for the past month or so. But the thing is, what I am feeling is nothing compared to people who have to worry about money, about their livelihoods. We can't choose our parents or the circumstances we are born in. I am not rich, but I never had to go hungry or worry too much about $$$. Being unhappy and restless in my circumstances, troubled about the things I am troubled by, seems frivolous, and is a bit embarrassing, compared to people who have to slave away and do things that they do not like to make a living, who have to wake up every morning and try to be positive even if shit hits them.

2009-09-14T01:05:00.003+08:00

Of Human Bondage

I finally read this book, which I bought at a second hand bookstore at Khao San in Bangkok in Oct 2007.

I was attracted by the title (Not bondage with the ropes and stuff!). A very suitable title as well. I can relate very well to Philip Carey's story. I felt a lot of what he felt, though not as intensely. The worst thing that can happen when you like someone so intensely is when that someone is totally indifferent to you. Leaves you totally at the other party's mercy, and if the other person lacks kindness or empathy, he/she can cause you a lot of misery indeed.

His affair with the woman much older than him might had left him disillusioned, but the woman had it much worse. She was so emotionally attached to him, whom at that age, didnt have the experience and cant empathize with her. The tables were turned on him in his obssession with Mildred. Perhaps just a little bit of karma there.

The parts where he figured out whether he has talent, his moral stance, the meaning of life are also what I can relate to more or less. And I totally understand how logical reasoning gets thrown out of the window in his obssession - how he would prefer to be unhappy with Mildred than to be happy with someone else. And how obvious the answer was that he did not even have to think about it once Mildred reentered his life.

2009-09-14T00:54:00.002+08:00

Weekend Alone

The first weekend without my wife for some time. Feel something missing.

I occupied my time catching up on sleep, watching 5 episodes of "The rise of nations" (da4 guo2 jue2 qi3), watching red firecracker greenfirecracker, listening to Cheer Chen's latest CD, swimming, and jogging.

The way I like to spend my life - physical activity + mental nourishment. I wonder if I need friends! One part of me wants to catch up with some folks who matter to me but I havent met for a long time, but there's some inertia as well, not sure why.

I like red firecracker, green firecracker, cliche but interesting. I like how it was narrated, and acting is very good - I am a fan of Ning Jing now! People like her and Mei Ting are 10 million times prettier than Zhang Ziyi and can really act, I dont know why Zhang Ziyi is so popular internationally. Anyway, the soundtrack is fantastic as well.

2009-09-12T03:36:00.001+08:00

3am

My wife flew back to China. It's back to the long distance relationship again. I try not to think too much. Probably gonna take some time for me to join her, but at least she will be back in Nov for our wedding dinner. Mixed feelings, I miss her, but I have more time to do my own things.

Anyway, I was clearing her room for the past couple of hours. She's like my father, leaving things around, not bothering to throw things away. I think I found 5 packs of half used tissue paper. Also saw newspapers from 2004 (the now extinct Streats).

It was a bit like reliving our shared history and experiences in Singapore - letters of her admission to SIM, documents from her teaching days at Hwa Chong, materials from her MACC course, to the media kits she collected as a journalist.

I had an indescribable feeling – felt the unbreakable, irreplaceable bond between us that was forged through going through so much together, felt the pain and hardship she experienced. I was happy to dump most of the stuff she brought back from Hwa Chong, to help her erase the memories of the most unhappy and nightmarish episode.

I was just thinking these couple of days – will I die before her or will she die before me? Which will be better? On one hand, I am better at coping with being alone, but on the other hand, she is so much more sociable than me that if I go first, she will be able to find support and make new friends.

I can imagine myself alone in this world, without children, in a nursing home. Probably the one thing I can do is to read. And play mahjong, if it’s allowed!

2009-09-06T21:02:00.000+08:00

Pointless Worrying

My brave colleague whom doctors suspect might have cancer had an operation and found that the tumour was benign. It was the least likely of all possible outcomes, he said.

Absolutely delighted for him, he really does deserve a bit of luck.

This incident taught me something - keep one's spirit's up in times of uncertainty, take things one step at a time. We should give due consideration to what could possibly happen (buy insurance!), but it is pointless to worry too much about things that have not yet happened and may not happen.

If only I can get my wife to think this way!

2009-09-01T18:24:00.002+08:00

Double Standards

I am not a fan of the 7th month getai. View it with some contempt actually, as something that's crass and low brow. But I like the sleazy roads in Thailand, be it Bangkok or Phuket. Liked the energy, liveliness, the amoral and unashamed acoholism, pole dancing and stuff, be it by real or fake women!

I have been thinking - am I practicing double standards? Perhaps, just perhaps, I prefer the 'in your face' selling of sex at Bangkok, rather than the hypocritical getai, with its silly Hokkien dirty jokes and stuff that appeal to old, fat, balding and probablly impotent ah peks. Or maybe it's just that the girls in Thailand are prettier and I am just trying to find a respectable justification!

Another question I have thought of a few times - what's the difference between a prostitute and a toilet cleaner? Or rather, are they the same? Prostitutes have to service whoever has the money (I made the same reference to PR fims before!), and usually these folks go to prostitutes because they can't get laid otherwise, so they are probably not very attractive, to put it in a nice way. So both prostitutes and toilet cleaners are doing jobs that are not very pleasant, in fact the prostitute more so.

I dont know why society looks down on the former, much more than the latter. How is the selling of one's body worse than selling one's manual or intellectual labour?

2009-08-24T21:10:00.002+08:00

What I should not have learnt from films

I was inspired after I caught Wong Kar Wai's Chungking Express. I told myself that I dont need the other party to like me, for me to give her my love, care and concern, to do things for her.

Silly me. Then I realized that it was not that simple. Sometimes you want to give someone your heart, but it can be too heavy and too much of a burden for the other party.

It is not just a matter of you wanting to give, but also a matter of whether the other party wants to accept.